Sunday, February 15, 2009

Next on Survivor: The Birthday Party

I am officially done hosting kids' birthday parties for the year. Hurray!

While I enjoyed planning my daughter's girly-party and my son's manly pizza-and-skate soiree, and each event went smoothly, I'm always glad to be done with the round of hostings.

I think they should make an episode of Survivor in which the teams of challengers are dropped off at several suburban locations and forced to deal with the following obstacles:

  • Crying child who may or may not be on the verge of throwing up
  • Bored child who decides to make things livelier by trying to hide in the fridge
  • Guest is dropped off shortly before the party ends and is picked up an hour after everyone else has gone home.
  • Spoiled, ungrateful guest who announces, "This is stupid." Extra points for not kicking him. More extra points if you DO kick him.
  • Parent drops off a child and then informs you that the kid is allergic to every food item you are serving.
  • Guests whose parents responded that they would come never appear.
  • Guests whose parents did not RSVP magically appear.
  • Spouse just happens to get sick the day of the party and is forced to spend that time in bed resting and watching TV instead of helping you.
  • Spouse just happens to get sick the day of the party but tries to help anyway and is useless.

The team that survives a party at Chuck E. Cheese without trying to kill that damn singing mouse wins.

Now THAT I would watch.

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