My Favorite Holiday

This coming Wednesday, you'll find me celebrating my favorite time of the year, a day so anticipated by many that it even beats Christmas and even the annual February white sales: Back-to-school time!

Our district's summer vacation begins and start late, so I know there are many parents across our great nation who have already commemorated this special day, swept up their tinsel and returned to their normal lives.

Every summer begins the same way: Miss Thang and Junior Rocker (who, at 13, is now old enough to shed the moniker of Pre-pubescent rocker) are overjoyed by the much-needed break from busy school and extracurricular activities. They are full of plans to hang out with friends, learn new hobbies and use the time for improvement. Junior Rocker announced he planned to go for a run every day.

Soon the plans fall by the wayside and I end up trying to get my part-time work done while also wearing a variety of other hats, such as:

Food-Chain Supplier -- (Them: "We have nothing to eat." Me: "I just shopped at Costco." Them: "But I don't like any of these foods.")

Julie McCoy, Activities Director -- (Me: "Time to get off the computer/TV/iPod touch/DS." Them: "But there's nothing to do." Me: "You have a ton of friends who live in the neighborhood and it's a nice day. Go get them and play." Them: "But that's too haaaaaard."

Pushy coach -- (Me: "Weren't you planning to run every day?" Junior Rocker: "It's too hot/cold/rainy/looks like rain. And I haven't practiced trombone yet." Me: "So when are you practicing trombone?" JR: "As soon as I'm done with this game."

Less you think of me as an unfeeling workaholic who dumps her lonely children in an attic for several months and forces them to find entertainment in a piece of string, I will have you know that I drop whatever I'm doing to take them places. I buy water balloons. I offer to chaperone small parties of children while they run around the back yard, screaming, dripping Otter Pops and irritating the dog, and by the end of this magical time, all kids are ACCOUNTED FOR and STILL ALIVE.

It's not all dark clouds and complaints: I've enjoyed having my kids home. Truly. No trip to Vegas could overshadow the joy of a lazy afternoon spent with my kids while eating ice cream, swimming, or going berry-picking. It's been FUN, FUN, FUN, but I'm ready for a break from all that fun now.

If you'll excuse me, I have decorations to put up before Wednesday and maybe bake a celebratory pie. I wonder if Hallmark has any event-appropriate card I can send to other parents. While I'm sure they don't have anything for back-to-school festivities, maybe a card stating "Congratulations on your parole!" or "Hope you find peace" could be appropo. Thoughts?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

There is much celebrating in our home, for school begins in two days. Actually, I should specify that I am the one in a joyful mood; my kids, not so much.

It has been a very fun and busy summer. So busy that I just realized it's been nearly a month since my last post. There were many times that I thought of posting but couldn't find the energy to compose a thought or lift a finger to the keyboard. That's the kind of summer it's been.

We've gone to the zoo, the aquarium, the science center, the parks, the outdoor movies and many other fun and enriching venues. We stayed at home and did crafts, ran through the sprinklers and had backyard picnics. My kids participated in theater camps, basketball camps, sleep-away camps, swim lessons and every other fun summer activity you can think of. I provided transportation for all of it.

My little cherubs started the summer with very ambitious goals: physical fitness, art projects, playdates, reading Moby Dick, etc. For the most part, they have been well-behaved and helpful. However, for the past three weeks they have been whiny, argumentative and constantly begging to play video games. When they began to complain about not having any good snacks right after a Costco run, I realized: It is time for them to return to school.

I consider it a wonderful sign that I did not get sick of my children during this summer vacation until three weeks ago; it seemed like only yesterday that I was begging to be put out of my misery after the first week of having them home. Progress, indeed!

After they return to school, I will grab a cup of coffee, put my feet up and listen to the sounds of ... ripping and hammering, for we are having our house completely re-sided. For the past several days, two very efficient workmen have been showing up bright and early to rip off old, warped siding and put up fresh, new siding. This requires the placement of a dumpster and Honey Bucket on our driveway (see photo above). The little boy across the street is very impressed and has asked to use our Honey Bucket, which I believe his mother forbade.

The project will probably take another two weeks, during which time I will put my feet up at the local coffee shop, run many errands and try to pick up as many jobs as possible. However, if I choose to stay at home, I can try to drown out the sounds of construction. The workmen may be noisy, but they have not once sassed me or complained that they are bored.

Progress, indeed!

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Yay! Hellboy 2: The Golden Army is awesome, suspenseful and lots of fun.

I had mentioned in an earlier blog my anticipation for this film and my apprehension that it would be one of those sequels that fall flat compared to the first film. Thank goodness my worries are unfounded. Now the Earth can continue spinning on its axis.

I won't bore you with a detailed plot since you already know it if you're a Hellboy fan. For you swing voters, the basic tale is that an other-worldly prince, exiled by his father the king during ancient times, seeks the final piece of a golden crown that will unleash a powerful, unstoppable Golden Army. Once unleashed, this army will help the prince annihilate humankind, with whom his father had declared a truce eons ago. So it's up to Hellboy and his gang from the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Development to figure out how to stop him.

Hellboy still has a bad temper and a fondness for cigars. Abe Sapien is still fishy and smart, but he gets to fall in love this time. Liz Sherman still has a bickering love affair going on with Hellboy, but this time she's carrying a little surprise inside her. Oh, there's also a Barry Manilow song included here. I won't give it away.

As with the first Hellboy movie, the visual effects are stunning, the action will be keep you transfixed and -- Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer -- the monsters! If you're a fan of director Guillermo del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth, you know what the man can do with monsters. Hellboy 2 introduces the Angel of Death and the Gatekeeper, both played by the rubbery Doug Jones, who also portrays Abe Sapien.

Also impressive are a swarm of computer-generated Tooth Fairies, who are way more sinister than they sound, and an underground Troll Market that reminded my son of all the Chinatowns he's seen (and he's seen a few).

If you like well-written, well-acted and beautifully filmed action films, this is one to see.

Life is a Bowl of This...

We're in the midst of cherry season and life is good. Call me opinionated, but I think the sweetest, plumpest cherries are grown here in the Northwest. Unfortunately, the harvest season is short (about 6 to 8 weeks), so we spend part of the year waiting for cherries, a few weeks enjoying them, and then the rest of the year moaning that we should have eaten more cherries when they were around.

My favorite is the Rainier cherry, which is a hybrid that is sweeter than most other varieties. Alas, it also requires optimal growing conditions and more careful handling, so it's usually in much shorter supply and, therefore, more expensive.

Today the kids and I were driving around and decided to visit a large produce stand in Seattle, where we found Rainier cherries being offered for a song ($2.99/lb., about a third of the usual price in supermarkets). I should have taken a photo of our stash before our family decimated it; what you see in the photo above is what's left, and I'm surprised there's any left at all.

They're so juicy and sweet like candy and I find the process of chewing on the tender-but-firm flesh and then spitting out the pit to be very therapeutic. Hey, we all have our fetishes.

Want Some Whine With Your Cheese?

My daughter, Miss Thang, has not slept much this week, due to a combination of the hot weather and the fact that she is physically incapable to slumbering past 7 a.m. Since she refuses to sit still and rest for even a second during the day, she has been alternately hyper and whiny.

Today it came to a head. She was whiny through a movie, whiny through a playdate and whiny during a shopping trip. I finally lost it at Fred Meyer. I was looking for groceries and laundry detergent in a store that has changed its layout for the umpteenth time due to remodeling, and while I tried to concentrate on finding things this buzz-buzz-buzz kept going in my ear: "Mommmmmmmm ... I was trying to find this toy ... can you come and look at this toy ... I want some of those hairbands ... no, I want more than six ... waaaaahhh..."

I gritted my teeth, glared at her and uttered the first word that came to mind: "Naptime!" She stopped in her tracks and became fearfully quiet. Her eyes got big and she whispered, "I don't want to nap." The image of Guantanamo detainees flashed through my mind. Keep in mind that she is 7 and has not napped since the age of 3.

So we have made a deal: Whenever she is whiny or annoying or hyper this summer and can't calm herself despite several warnings and/or good-parenting attempts on my end, "Naptime" will be the code word for, "This is your final warning. Any further attempts to whine or annoy will result in being sent to your room for a good snooze."

So far it's working. If it works through the entire summer vacation, I may have to start a parenting-advice blog (just kidding).

Strawberries, Finally!

Every year our family looks forward to picking strawberries at Biringer Farms in Marysville. There is nothing quite like having a tractor tow you in a cart out to a field of ripe, red, fragrant strawberries and then being able to pick your own for a very reasonable price. No one can resisting popping a few of the sweet little guys into their mouths for a "quality-control" sample. My kids usually end up with quite a few berries in their stomachs while they're out in the fields, so the free fiber is another benefit.

Local strawberries have been behind schedule this year because of the cold spring, so we were overjoyed when the farm's Berry Line recording indicated that the ripening had begun. We picked two flats that totaled about 24 lbs., most of which the hubby and the kids will slice and freeze to make batches of delicious freezer jam throughout the year.

We also took a few cups to make the strawberry glaze pie in the photo. The pie crust doesn't look very pretty because I was too impatient to let the homemade dough chill long enough before rolling it out, but it was delicious all the same. You'll have to take my word for it.

Slip, Slide, Repeat

Some time this summer my inner child will be tempted to purchase a(nother) Slip 'N Slide for my kids. Should this happen, I hope my grown-up brain will put my inner child into the Time Out corner until it comes to its senses.

We have blown through two Slip 'N Slides during the past few summers. Here are some reasons why I don't want another one:

• The inflatable walls that are supposed to catch you at the end of the slide usually puncture after the very first use, creating a very interesting potential for grass burns on the chest and face.
• You have to spend a few minutes setting it up by staking it to the ground and attaching your garden hose. After that, my kids enjoy it for about five minutes and then go on to other things.
• Then after they're done using it, you have to remove the stakes and find a place to stash the sucker, unless you cherish a soggy mud strip in your back yard and puncture marks in the vinyl from the dog's claws.
• My cheapskate nature has serious issues with the concept of paying good money for a piece of plastic that you wet down.

And the number one reason (drumroll): There is a weight limit on these suckers and guess who exceeds this limit? Why can't they make them sturdier to hold higher weights? Who do they think purchase these things, a bunch of supermodels?

So this summer, my deprived children will have to make do with Super Soaker water guns, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, bug vacuums, neighborhood parks, bikes and the old-fashioned sprinkler. I think we'll live.

Day One of Summer Vacation

Today is the first day of summer vacation for my kids, ages 11 and 7.

As most stay-at-home parents, I usually view summer vacations with a mixture of relief and dread. It's a relief to take a break from the hectic school schedule of homework and activities. However, this means I am now the supervisor and source of entertainment for two kids whose idea of fun is many hours of Wii and Teen Disney. So I schedule them for camps and lessons and we go to the pools, the beaches, the parks, the zoos, the museums and any other fun and enriching place I can think of. I also try to keep them occupied by having them do housekeeping. (A Swiffer duster in the right hands can be so much fun!) Every summer I feel like Julie McCoy on the Love Boat, except no one tips me at the end of the cruise.

If I were one of those overachieving, adoring parents whose spawn could do no wrong, I would brag that my children are "verbally gifted" and "analytically vocal." As it stands, they bicker. Some people can ignore the sound of bickering, but to me, it's like listening to a thousand dirty fingernails screech down a chalkboard while a swarm of bees hover over my head. So at least once a week during summer vacation, I lose it and yell at my kids to stop yelling at each other. Where's Supernanny when you need her?

Anyway, Day One has gone smoothly so far. The kids shocked me this morning by sleeping in, having a healthy breakfast and cleaning their rooms. They went outside and played and got fresh air. They went grocery shopping with me and were helpful. They made homemade cards for some friends' upcoming birthday parties.

They're being good. Too good. Something is up. I'm keep you posted.