Slip, Slide, Repeat

Some time this summer my inner child will be tempted to purchase a(nother) Slip 'N Slide for my kids. Should this happen, I hope my grown-up brain will put my inner child into the Time Out corner until it comes to its senses.

We have blown through two Slip 'N Slides during the past few summers. Here are some reasons why I don't want another one:

• The inflatable walls that are supposed to catch you at the end of the slide usually puncture after the very first use, creating a very interesting potential for grass burns on the chest and face.
• You have to spend a few minutes setting it up by staking it to the ground and attaching your garden hose. After that, my kids enjoy it for about five minutes and then go on to other things.
• Then after they're done using it, you have to remove the stakes and find a place to stash the sucker, unless you cherish a soggy mud strip in your back yard and puncture marks in the vinyl from the dog's claws.
• My cheapskate nature has serious issues with the concept of paying good money for a piece of plastic that you wet down.

And the number one reason (drumroll): There is a weight limit on these suckers and guess who exceeds this limit? Why can't they make them sturdier to hold higher weights? Who do they think purchase these things, a bunch of supermodels?

So this summer, my deprived children will have to make do with Super Soaker water guns, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, bug vacuums, neighborhood parks, bikes and the old-fashioned sprinkler. I think we'll live.